My story
I am a kindhearted, loving, playful, adventurous, and inquisitive gal who is passionate about experiencing all that life has to offer.
As a child, I spent much of my time playing outside and using my imagination. At a young age, I found a love for ballet and devoted a good portion of my adolescent and early adult life training and performing at a Reno-based dance company. Dance is still my favorite form of creative, emotional, and artistic expression.
In college, I discovered another passion: Physics. I wanted to dive into my analytical and scientific mind and was fueled by problem-solving and exploring the origin and inner workings of the universe. After receiving a Bachelor’s degree in Physics, I continued on the academic track by moving from my hometown of Reno, Nevada to Boulder, Colorado to pursue a PhD in Aerospace Engineering and Space Sciences. After I earned my PhD, I worked as an instrument scientist/engineer building instruments for NASA space missions.
While living in Colorado, I reconnected with my childhood love of adventure and recreating in nature. I took up hiking and running in the mountains, skiing, mountain biking, and even skydiving. Then, in the last 6 years, I threw much of my life into rock climbing and ice climbing, as well as back-country skiing. I was exploring the alpine environment every chance I could get.
When my life changed…
While my life looked pretty impressive on paper, I was deeply struggling with my mental health. I experienced major (at times, debilitating) anxiety and depression for most of my adult life and had no idea how to deal with it. I was also a perfectionist. No matter how much I achieved, I never felt good enough — not smart enough, not strong enough, not accomplished enough. I’d beat myself up about everything I did wrong. This attitude led to an unhealthy relationship with both my career and outdoor activities. I tied my entire identity to my athletic and professional accomplishments. I lost track of the very reason I involved myself in my passions in the first place: to explore myself and the world around me with curiosity and excitement. I was living a life of nearly-constant stress and anxiety.
As my mental and physical health started to drastically decline, my world got completely rocked in May of 2020. A couple months after recovering from COVID-19, I started experiencing major physical health issues likely attributed to Long COVID. I experienced a range of neurological symptoms I never had before, including: numbness, muscle weakness/loss in motor function, tremors, blurry vision, impaired cognitive function, and intense fatigue. Not knowing what was wrong with me was terrifying. I had months in which I could not be active and partake in the experiences that gave me joy. I could not climb or run..I could barely walk. I struggled to do my job. I felt broken and worthless without my brain power and physical abilities. I mourned the loss of the life I had—the strong, healthy, badass climber…the smart, successful aerospace engineer. Unable to keep up at work anymore, I made the tough decision to step away from the career that I had worked so hard for and focus on improving my physical and mental health.
Limited in my abilities, I tried to focus on the small pleasures in life: enjoying the beauty and aromas of the flowers and trees, laughing, listening to music, filling my body with healthy and fresh nutrients, and connecting with my loved ones. I was becoming more present and grateful for each moment, however it looked. This was the beginning of my ‘awakening’.
My healing journey
For the past few years, I put much effort into ‘healing’ myself from my physical and mental challenges. I’ve tried so many supplements, I eat a very healthy diet, I’ve improved my stress management, I’ve gone to therapy. I had the expectation that if I put in the work, I’d become fully healed and have my strong body back and also be rid of my anxiety and depression for good. The harder I tried, the worse it got though. I was constantly disappointed and asked myself, ‘What am I doing wrong? Why am I not better?’.
At a certain point, I realized that this healing journey of mine was much more than a physical one, it was a spiritual one at the very core of my being. I had been too attached to the outcome. Spending all of my time wishing my life were different and wishing that I could be my old self again was causing more harm than good. I knew I needed to go deep within myself and find an appreciation and love for my life NO MATTER HOW IT UNFOLDED..to live my life as if I was already healed..to live my life as a NEW self..a self that felt WHOLE and VIBRANT. I still did not give up on believing that I could physically heal, but I stopped focusing so much on it. Instead, I focused more on living my most beautiful and meaningful life, rediscovering my zest, exploring, and adventuring, even if it now looked a bit different than it did before. I let go of that attachment to what life needed to be.
My healing journey is still full of many ups and downs. While my health has certainly improved and I can now walk again and even partake in many of the outdoor activities I love, I still experience many of my original symptoms, including a nervous system disorder that has impaired my motor function. However, I trust in my process and remain very open to the possibility of a full physical recovery.
Life continues to throw me great challenges, but my light is shining bright. I am no longer so focused on my accomplishments, the need to do big epic adventures all of the time, and the need to feed the ego. I still experience depression, anxiety, fear, frustration, and grief (I am a human, after all), but I have become able to accept the ups and downs, roll with the punches better, TRUST in my life journey, and remain open to possibilities and the life I most deeply desire. And, let me tell you, I feel LIBERATED. I recognize I deserve to enjoy this life..and I refuse to miss a beat. I am living and embracing my life in a way I never had before, and I feel deeply blessed for that.
Why I am pursuing a career as a coach
After going through many challenges in life and discovering my own resilience and a way to still appreciate and get the most out of my life, I felt a deep desire to connect with, support, and help guide other people going through their own struggles and suffering.
I’ve been at rock bottom, clinging on to life by a thread, but I also have discovered the beauty that is my life. I’ve had to work on my mental health DAILY for years, figuring out how to live with depression, anxiety, and now a chronic physical illness.
During my darkest hours, I realized the gift I wanted to share with the world: my empathy, compassion, and love with people in need. I want to relate to my clients and help them feel less alone. I want to be their rock during the hard times and a guidance for them in finding their beacon of light.
Furthermore, I want to help people truly discover (or rediscover) their most vibrant and free selves—that child-like zest and wonder that often gets dimmed over time by life’s burdens and trauma.
